Online Course

What happen's after you ask 'R U OK'?

What you may notice

Sometimes we notice that a mate or a fellow worker is not themselves. They may be frustrated, quiet, tired or not engaged in the same way they were a few weeks back. They might be making drinking more alcohol than they would normally and find it hard to keep focussed. They might even be challenging to be around.

So, what do we do? We can ignore what we have noticed, we can make fun of them to lessen the tension (although this never ends well) or we can check in and ask them R U OK, or as we say at MH Training, 'how’s ya bucket'? 

How's your bucket?

We all carry a bucket of stress, some of this stress is within our control, such as our choices around nutrition, sleep, exercise, and the company we keep. Another layer of stress in our bucket can arise from the people around us - family, friends, coworkers, etc. These interactions can contribute to the stress we experience.

The final layer or stress comes from things outside our control, such as events like the sudden death of a loved one, workplace restructures, global events, Covid etc. These stressors, though beyond our control, can significantly impact us.

We have a small tap at the bottom of our bucket we can use to release some of the stress. One strategy to release stress is to find things we enjoy doing that helps us to de-stress. This can release some pressure from your bucket.

But first, let’s start looking at what you have in your bucket.

Start the conversation.

Think through how you might start the conversation and where it might happen. Sometimes it might start in a room where other people are present, but you can always suggest you head elsewhere where where there is a little more privacy.

• Go for a walk
• Head to a coffee shop
• Offer them your observations - “you seem really tired lately” or “I’ve noticed that you seem really frustrated with things” or “you haven’t been coming out to play golf with us”.
  

We can’t fix this for them as much as we would love to. However, we can offer support by:

• Listening
• Being okay with the silence
• Making sure you don't take over the conversation or make it about you.

Sometimes summarising what they are saying back to them is a great way of demonstrating that you are genuinely listening. Also turn your phone on silent and put it out of sight. Try not to get distracted by other things happening around you either. Pay attention - body language is a huge part of this.

Most workplaces have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) offering free counselling and support to staff and immediate family members. We always encourage seeking support before your bucket overflows. This is a great way of managing your bucket. One or two sessions with someone who gets paid to listen to what is in your bucket confidentially and with no judgement - why wouldn’t you book in!

If EAP isn’t available or they don't want to go to EAP, there are a number of other options for support.

GP (General Practitioner) – GP's are the gate keeper. They can write up a Mental Health Care Plan which provides the person with up to 10 Medicare rebated sessions with a Mental Health practitioner, so they only pay the gap. The GP can also run tests to see what else might be happening in the background, which is a good first step.

Other options - There are private counsellors and psychologists that you can always search for in your area. You can also access counselling/support sessions online, so you don't need to be physically in your local area. Be sure to check their reviews. If you don’t feel the counsellor is right for you, don't give up, and find another. The journey to finding the right counsellor might require some effort, but the positive impact on your well-being is definitely worth it.

Keep an eye on your own bucket.

Always remember to look after your own bucket - whatever helps lighten the load. This might be chatting with a friend, exercising, gardening, tinkering on a project at home, going for a walk (don’t forget to take your dog if you have one). What is it that works best for you?

Interactive activity

Let's look at a scenario where a staff member's bucket is full, and it's impacting his workplace.

See how he acts on the outside, versus the thoughts he is having. The scenario explores how asking someone if they are okay can have a big impact on helping them reach out for support.

Time to review

You have now completed the key learnings.

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